XYZ

Is it humanly possible for someone in my age to be not that eager to be romantically involved with someone? Or am i just denying myself of this feeling because I've been hurt before? That could be a reason but maybe not? I noticed that after my previous relationship (which didn't end up so well) suddenly i was not that eager to be in a relationship again.. unlike before, i was always the one who end it and instantly replace them with a new one.. but with this i think i was really committed than i was before. i invested a lot of emotions and time and then we end up like that.. though i was also the one who ended it.. it felt bad.. it felt terrible.. it is such a waste.. i can't even treasure those memories they weren't real.. (let me that person XYZ) aleast for XYZ.. because for me i was being true the entire relationship.. but i know XYZ is trying but really not into it.. i read it from XYZ's notebook (unfortunately i have it). it hurts.. it really hurts.. because all those times i believe that what we have is real.. i can see it.. but if it's love then it must not end.. but it did.. on the latter part of our relationship we always fight.. always! XYZ was being so unreasonable and irritated.. i didn't give up on XYZ not until i had enough.. not until i know that it will go nowhere.. those fights and words that XYZ had said i know that it isn't love..so what's the point of staying together? you know what hurts the most? it is those memories of sunsets, laughters, nights that we were together, those surprises, gifts and many other more.. those ain't real.. it's sad.. what a tragedy..

now i'm waiting for that person who can make me feel again.. give that spark.. and hopefully someone that i can really trust my heart with..