XYZ

Is it humanly possible for someone in my age to be not that eager to be romantically involved with someone? Or am i just denying myself of this feeling because I've been hurt before? That could be a reason but maybe not? I noticed that after my previous relationship (which didn't end up so well) suddenly i was not that eager to be in a relationship again.. unlike before, i was always the one who end it and instantly replace them with a new one.. but with this i think i was really committed than i was before. i invested a lot of emotions and time and then we end up like that.. though i was also the one who ended it.. it felt bad.. it felt terrible.. it is such a waste.. i can't even treasure those memories they weren't real.. (let me that person XYZ) aleast for XYZ.. because for me i was being true the entire relationship.. but i know XYZ is trying but really not into it.. i read it from XYZ's notebook (unfortunately i have it). it hurts.. it really hurts.. because all those times i believe that what we have is real.. i can see it.. but if it's love then it must not end.. but it did.. on the latter part of our relationship we always fight.. always! XYZ was being so unreasonable and irritated.. i didn't give up on XYZ not until i had enough.. not until i know that it will go nowhere.. those fights and words that XYZ had said i know that it isn't love..so what's the point of staying together? you know what hurts the most? it is those memories of sunsets, laughters, nights that we were together, those surprises, gifts and many other more.. those ain't real.. it's sad.. what a tragedy..

now i'm waiting for that person who can make me feel again.. give that spark.. and hopefully someone that i can really trust my heart with..

Fight against Violence (KONY 2012)

There was this video that has been circulating for a while now but I didn’t pay attention till today. KONY 2012 is a video by Jason Russel that aims to raise support and awareness for the arrest of Joseph Kony. I was so moved by this video clip that I decided to make an action and support this campaign. I know that one of the actions that I can make is to blog about it. 1.4M likes on Facebook and thousand of readers every day, writing about this in Definitely Filipino will surely reached a number of readers who will hopefully advocate for the “Invisible Children”. Who is Joseph Kony? He is the leader of a cult group named Lord’s Resistance Army (originally called United Holy Salvation Army) in Uganda formed in 1987, claims that he is the spokesperson of God and wants Uganda to be in Theocracy. 

Over the years Kony has been abducting children (according to Jason Russel there are 30,000 up to date) to join his army; kidnapping them to be his soldiers, sometimes forcing them to kill their own parents and also using this children as their sex slaves. They make the children serves as a decoy sending them in frontlines, sometimes used as pack mules carrying LRA supplies until they cannot walk anymore they will either kill them or left to die. Kony also tortures them by cutting off the children’s nose, ear, lips and make them eat their own flesh. Children in Uganda and other parts of Africa are living in fear for their lives, sleeping every night thinking if they will be abducted or not and that is a sad truth.

This KONY 2012 campaign aims that by December 31, 2012 Joseph Kony will be arrested and we will win this fight against war. I’m aware that there are also a lot of people doubting the credibility of this campaign or the sincerity of the organization running this campaign but isn’t it good to know that there are still people fighting for the rights of other. It is better to support the fight for violence than to sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t change the fact that still Joseph Kony is the #1 most wanted and he make thousands of families in Africa miserable. US government is already supporting this campaign. Several US advisers were involved as well as military troops. We as Filipinos will also make a stand against violence. We can make an AWARENESS. We as human who don’t want our loved ones to be hurt or to be in danger will share the burdens of those people victimized by Kony. We will make history. Russel said in the same video that strikes me the most “Who are you to end the war? I’m here to tell you who are you not to?”.

HOW TO HELP:
Visit: http://kony2012.com
Donate to Invisible Children: https://stayclassy.org/checkout/set-donation?eid=14711
For info on Invisible Children: http://invisiblechildren.com

(Sources: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony , http://www.nndb.com/people/398/000022332/ )

setting goals..

I don't feel that i'm missing my high school batch mates. Is that offensive? Maybe i was too preoccupied with other things, uh no, i mean a lot of things! 

Every now and then there is always one or two of my batch mates that are getting married, pregnant and some of them still studying. Others have work but you can say that it is only for a specific span of time and they will be transferring company again, very few are those who are really stable at this point. It seems that no one is seriously planning for their futures and just going with the flow.

It occurred to me "Do i have a difference from all of them" . When i was a kid i used to imagine myself above from any other kids of my age. Well, i strongly believe that my confidence before was as high as the stars above for my perception about things and realizations of my limitations are not yet determined.

On the other side, i was starting to feel again that confidence that was once lost. It is all in the mind. What i think i cannot do was all in my mind. Opportunities are everywhere and it is just a matter of confidence and determination.

What i'm trying to do now is to enhance my talent and capabilities and use it to it's fullest and have no regrets in the future that i didn't give this and that a shot. As one wiseman said that you shouldn't be afraid of failing rather than being sorry for not trying.

My plans for my future are of course just mere plans but the will of God shall prevail. I will do my part to maximize every chance i have. Live every single day as if it is the last day. 

Transcendence..

It's always all about yourself. You perceive almost everything with your own presuppositions. "I don't like this" , "I don't feel doing this" and other more. We always want situations to favor our side, our feelings and our pride. Even myself is guilty of this. Why not? It is much more easier that way; much more convenient. But what are the odds? It seems normal if you want more likes on your Facebook status or more retweets. But this narcissism tendency closes your mind to other opinions, comments or culture and even much more about this blog that i'm writing.

One thing I've noticed is when you are in the age that you think you can handle yourself then you are also confident or shall i say more than confident that whatever you decide, conclude or think is absolute. The age where you are fleeting from your adolescence to adulthood and building your own identity and reputation. Everything is more complicated now but as you are starting to create yourself you become more sensitive, more opinionated and egoistic not like when you were a child.

Now, other people who have been to where you are right now starts giving you advice, criticize you and try to tell you what your limits are but this is not just a piece of cake. Because you start to think that you is better than them, that you can have a better way of doing things and nothing is difficult for you to achieve. I understand that side but here's what i'm trying to say here; people are from different walks of life, different orientation and different cultures so you cannot always say that you are right and they are wrong also vice versa. There is always a chance that sometimes they just not tell you the whole picture but bottomline they just wanna make you understand, they wanna help you. One thing I've learned is that even there is always this possibility that we can make a better generation let us not ignore the wisdom that we can get listening to other people especially older people. Sometimes they're wrong but often times they're not. You can always create a better you and there is no harm using some help doing it.

finding my old brain..

while i'm reading my old posts here in my blog makes me feel awkward. hahaha. i was not posting these stuff that people will know that this is me writing this. just raw and random thoughts crossing my mind. i don't care if some grammar Nazis come here and criticize my punctuations,subject-verb whatsoever and other glitches. seriously, back off! well, one reason i'm reviving this blog is that i have this feeling that i'm losing myself. what i mean is that i think i'm corrupted by crappy music, pathetic social medias and mediocrity. i may be harsh with my words but that is reality. how many hours did i spend on Twitter, FB, Youtube and 9gag? whenever i have this great idea or a inspiring write up to make i always end up not doing it because i was exhausted doing a bunch of garbage online. i should courageously stop tweeting and socializing. it is time stimulate my brain and make things happen. 


also this post says a lot about my blogging skills. i'm losing it. not too late. gonna revive it. let this be a reminder to all of us fellow young people to be aware of what you are losing when you spend too much time on unimportant things. when you feed your mind with garbage. i must say that i'm also inspired by Charlie Chaplin for being not that sociable yet used his talent and principles to have his message heard in the most effective way. Keeping a low-profile and was not infiltrated by Hollywood. always find time to take a break from all of the demands of this world and start redeeming yourself. for only a few understand the importance of this and emerge as one of the rare and bright minds of this planet.

Where's the optimism? SONA 2011

Why is it that people are not tired of ranting and complaining whenever they can? Aren't you tired of yourself blaming a single person for all of these? Noynoy with all due fairness is just a year old as a president. Then you expect that he will solve all those on your wishlist? C'mon get real! I'm not ignorant of all the extrajudicial killing. poverty,all price hike, low salary, jobless people, budget cuts and the list goes on but don't the president deserve at least a benefit of the doubt? From what i see here, Noynoy actually managed to open some issues, anomalies and corruption in different agencies. He really stick to his "Tuwid na daan" campaign he has which is for me a impressive first year. I believe that this tactic of fighting corruption is a good move to dig a foundation for his further plans of making our country a better land. From getrealphilippines.com this was quoted "How does one go from fighting the wang wang to highlighting “results” to do with reducing hunger?" because according to that article Noynoy quoted his wang-wang speech then followed by a statistics about self-rated hunger. Don't you understand that when this abuse of authority (wang-wang) is eliminated then all good outcome follows? I'm not even a Aquino loyalist but i think Noynoy here is somehow judged inappropriately. I agree that his SONA has left us clueless about all of his plans for our country but on the other side a president that is actively fighting for corruption and authority abuse is a president that i can trust. Let's not put it all on Noynoy's shoulders. Fellow Filipinos we also have some work to do!

nothing to look forward..

isn't it true that if you are not looking forward to anything and nothing excites you it just create a damn lazy sluggard monster in you? well, im experiencing some of this lately and it is damaging.. i missed work, it costs me a lot of money.. i find food a therapeutic way to temporarily lessen my loneliness away.. i don't like being an adult, i don't like this responsibilities, i should have a life you know? i don't like taking care of my own bills. but on the other side i surely don't want to live with my dad again. cruel as it seems but i cannot write or describe the exact feeling when we we're with him and it is so excruciating that i don't want to remember it anymore. i always look at myself as a strong, aggressive and will-driven person as if im invincible in my own perception. but today im seeing myself falling into tiny bits, impossible to restore, painful to rebuild. my confidence is degenerating, i often feel empty and got nothing to do but to stare at these laptop. *sigh* it is just so boring..