What Does These Months Has For Me

Hey there. It's been a long time since i wrote something here. I know i said before that i will try to write here everyday but my schedule doesn't permits me to. There are a lot of things that i want to talk about but it seems that I already told those stories to some people so those stories hasn't been in my mind for quite some time now. But let me talk about the first thing that is in my head right now. I'm pondering on making this blog a tagalog blog. Maybe because of my dislike on Jose Rizal. But i also realize that if i'm targeting Filipino Netizens then there shouldn't be a problem writing in this language. I also realized that i should not try to get the whole wide web as my audience. I should write in the context of my country because i learned that the more specific you are the more general it'll be.

Also another realization that i had these past months that my level of sadness is directly proportional to the number of novels that i can finish. I'm struggling with something for the past months and i finished 7 novels in 3 months time. Usually i just finish 3-4 novels a year. I'm that kind of person who thinks too much so to block the thoughts that bother me i read novels. I don't know about you but it is effective for me.

There has been a lot of great opportunities for me these past months and i can't say that i'm overwhelmed. For every title that you get there is a corresponding responsibility. It may sound good that you have those titles and when your friends heard about it they are all over you saying how awesome that is. But they will never understand how much work you need to put in to maintain those "titles" that they is awesome. But still thank you Lord for all of these.

Courage

Courage is not the absence of fear; Courage is not becoming a slave of fear.We often think or say that someone is courageous because they have the guts, they are strong and has no fear. Are you like that? Or do you wish to be like that? I remember when i was a child i have no fear. I do things that i want to do without having second thoughts on it. When i was asked to participate on a certain competition i don't say NO. Never did I when i was in elementary. Then i went to highschool, i must say that my ego just became higher and nowhere to be found in the ground. Also because i know in myself no one can oppose me for what i believe, what i know, and what i can do. There are no one who can beat me down and my morale is that invincible.

When i move up to college and i transferred house. I was still a air-headed person. But maybe because of the circumstances that made me doubt myself? During my early years of my college life i was emotionally down and fragile. I was not prepared from the succeeding events and i have this fear of failure and destruction. I was way beyond my comfort zone and many things happened that made me weak and fearful. It was a long and tiring journey that time. I think i have signs of depression that time and no one is capable of helping me.

God knows how long it is but i recovered. I faced my demons and overcame my fear. I learn to be independent and took full responsibility of my future. There goes my fear of becoming nothing, fear that i may not be able to sustain myself for everyday living and the list goes on. But here i am now, studying my course where my passion is and trying to rebuild myself again. Whatever you might be afraid of right now, whatever is hindering you from being the best and happy, whatever it is always keep in mind to take courage and go for it! For you shall not be a slave of fear!

Believer

As I've promised, I will try my best to update my blog everyday. :) So after writing that post yesterday I was trying to think my past thoughts that I would like to write here in my blogsite. Some of them are still here in my phone so I will attempt to unearth them together with the thoughts that comes with it. Because I only save titles of my ideas and not the whole story. So I shall refresh my brain now. Hahahaha!

Okay to start i found this in my drafts "And the trouble is if you don't risk anything, you are risking even more". I think i heard this from a sunday message. Which appeals to me because I'm that kind of person who is a risk taker. This kind of attitude develops in me since i became independent at a very young age. So I've learned to take a risk since i feel that there is nothing to lose in trying. Even though in reality you are gambling a part of you at some instances. The thing is a lot of people are afraid to get out of their comfort zones and made themselves comfortable to what they have or what they are at the present time. But that will not work for me. I know and honestly believe that there a lot of things to chase in this life and a lot of wonderful events that are just waiting for us to unveil. I'm always a believer of good things, of good life and optimism runs through my veins.

From all of the things that happened to me and the things that I've overcome in life, I can say that there is more to life than miseries and sorrows. Never ever think that you had enough of everything because there is a lot in store for all of us. So take the risk and seize the day! :)

Here I Go Again

These past years I've been blogging sporadically because i just want to say things that i can't say to people who knows me personally. Whether you believe me or not i want to religiously post everyday here but everytime that I have something to write i end up typing it on my phone instead or tweeting about it. You cannot blame me because social media and other technology made me lazy about everything. But i want to change. I want to be a new person today! It's been a long time since I've been conscious of how i look or what i wear and all. I'm that kind of person that is more concerned about things that i read, that i learn and when i say reading it means reading a LOT!

I think wanting to be a new person is an exaggeration and what i mean is to be a better person. To be better in some aspects of my life. I'm thinking of making another blog and is dedicated for my weight loss journey. I will try to make a video of my every day progress and write things about it that makes sense. Hahaha! It took me a long time to realize that i should be also conscious of how i look and my health. I will start to make this blog the moment i purchase a mountain bike.

Being a better version of yourself is a constant stretch. Wanting to be better than you already are is one thing that i love about myself. Hahahaha! Improving all the aspects of your life is a fulfilling task to do. Though being busy with other stuffs made me ignore about my physical appearance can be an excuse but I'm not regretting it. I've learned a lot along the way making me the person I am today. It is never too late to look for improvements and you should also look ways on how to do this for yourself. :)

setting goals..

I don't feel that i'm missing my high school batch mates. Is that offensive? Maybe i was too preoccupied with other things, uh no, i mean a lot of things! 

Every now and then there is always one or two of my batch mates that are getting married, pregnant and some of them still studying. Others have work but you can say that it is only for a specific span of time and they will be transferring company again, very few are those who are really stable at this point. It seems that no one is seriously planning for their futures and just going with the flow.

It occurred to me "Do i have a difference from all of them" . When i was a kid i used to imagine myself above from any other kids of my age. Well, i strongly believe that my confidence before was as high as the stars above for my perception about things and realizations of my limitations are not yet determined.

On the other side, i was starting to feel again that confidence that was once lost. It is all in the mind. What i think i cannot do was all in my mind. Opportunities are everywhere and it is just a matter of confidence and determination.

What i'm trying to do now is to enhance my talent and capabilities and use it to it's fullest and have no regrets in the future that i didn't give this and that a shot. As one wiseman said that you shouldn't be afraid of failing rather than being sorry for not trying.

My plans for my future are of course just mere plans but the will of God shall prevail. I will do my part to maximize every chance i have. Live every single day as if it is the last day.