Break!

A lot had happened but I just want to vent out what my feelings are now. I don't know why I feel disheartened. And I'm hating the fact that perhaps my laziness is getting the best out of me. There are a lot of things that are on my shoulder now but I just want to drop them and be a ordinary person. All this fuzz is making me crazy! As of the moment, I enjoy my time alone and my personal space. Not in the gear of doing things that doesn't concern me directly. But I'm also aware that if I will drop these things it will have an effect on me in the future so I feel like I'm in a conundrum.

I'm not a big fan of sacrifices. Doing things that I'm not passionate about. All my life I'm driven by passion and I do things because of it. But yeah, sometimes things are not on your own terms. I just want to be alone with my books and a couple of good movies and tv series.

Life would be so much better without these people who expects so much from me. If things would be simple as it is. And that we are in our best state. Free of mediocrity.

Where do I fit in?

Where can you find the place where you will fit in best? Who can say to you that you shall take this path and not the otherwise? How can this crucial choice affect everyone around you? This is a very tough question that I will try to talk about somehow. I came across this question AGAIN in my class today and though I know for a fact what I want to be in my life what bothers me is that there are some people who are still not in the same predicament as I am. I’m not trying to boast here or something but what I’m trying to say is it also affects us in an indirect way when you make a decision that will place you in a field where you don’t best fit. It is an old issue about the nursing students that are taking the course because they were forced to by their parents or lured by the “opportunity” outside the country. As one of my professors used to say “Sayang yung mga utak na pinilit magnursing. Pwede sana sila maging magaling na abogado o mambabatas sa talino nila na yan” We can establish a premise here that there are endless possibilities of what ifs with these people and how they could have helped our country in a more effective way. 

If you happened to watch the movie 3 Idiots (a 2009 Bollywood film) one of Rancho’s friend was forced by his parents to take Engineering when in fact he is a TALENTED photographer. He could have use those times that he spend in engineering school to enhance his photography skills but instead he wasted it studying something that he is not passionate about. We are all trying to find our place where we will be a functional member of the society and aiming to be effective. We should seek what we do best and pursue it. What are we passionate about and strive for it. Sometimes we are just in the wrong track doing things that are meaningless and wasting our time doing something we don’t need to do. This is exactly the problem why here in the Philippines is far from an ideal society. Though we can never have an ideal society but it doesn’t mean we stop trying to become one. Here comedians can be politicians, nursing graduates are in the call centers, political science graduates can teach sociology and other fields that a lot of wrong people are in it. 

I’m aware that we are highly influenced by the social media culture in our time today where you can see what everyone is doing with just a click. It is also by this culture that we think in such a way that we seek what we can get and what we think we deserve. It is all about us and what we are entitled to have. It made us forget that every right has a responsibility with it. We are responsible to what our country is becoming. There is no one to blame but us to what is happening in the Philippines. So what are we trying to do to contribute to our country? Are we on the field that we think we can contribute effectively? Of course some would argue that it is the practicality that they are doing the things they are doing right now. But is it really the reason or we just don’t have the guts to make a stand? I’m sure that you don’t want to see the old gray haired you telling to yourself that you live a life of practicality not making a dent on history.