Wallflower

It is evident that everyone wants to be in the limelight these days. Narcissism is inevitable, social media sites can testify to that. It seems that everyone is looking for that shining moment and a Ryan Seacrest to legitimize their fame. But these kids doesn't realize the stress that is directly proportional to this kind of thing. Is it really worth the fame?

Also, other people sees institutional position to be a gateway to power and fame. Voted by a couple of members can guarantee you a special seat with special privileges that normal people won't get. But is it worth your time?

Have you seen the movie "Perks of Being a Wallflower"? Who would even want to be a wallflower? A person whose presence is not a big deal. You walk into a room or even in your campus and people doesn't care. You miss a deadline and no one will bother. I want to be a wallflower! I want to be a wallflower for a span of time. We all have that share of fame and I'm done with mine. Or atleast for the most part of my life. And right now, right at this moment, I want to be a nobody. I just want to be a simple person who has all the time in the world for themselves. I just want to be an ordinary person.

Maybe you'll think that I'm boasting things but reality is I just want to get this off my chest because I'm sick of these things. And yes, for once I want to drop all the responsibilities because I'm tired being always the one in charge and the point person for everything. I want to be Charlie.

Break!

A lot had happened but I just want to vent out what my feelings are now. I don't know why I feel disheartened. And I'm hating the fact that perhaps my laziness is getting the best out of me. There are a lot of things that are on my shoulder now but I just want to drop them and be a ordinary person. All this fuzz is making me crazy! As of the moment, I enjoy my time alone and my personal space. Not in the gear of doing things that doesn't concern me directly. But I'm also aware that if I will drop these things it will have an effect on me in the future so I feel like I'm in a conundrum.

I'm not a big fan of sacrifices. Doing things that I'm not passionate about. All my life I'm driven by passion and I do things because of it. But yeah, sometimes things are not on your own terms. I just want to be alone with my books and a couple of good movies and tv series.

Life would be so much better without these people who expects so much from me. If things would be simple as it is. And that we are in our best state. Free of mediocrity.

Money Pooping Machine

Of course Confucius is right when he said that one of the causes why we are out of accord is about our attachment to profit. People want more money. There are some people who just can’t get enough money! And their heartlessness is unbelievably right up there in the highest ceiling of heavens. I cannot explain how disgusted I am with the Sys. How can they possibly that want of having more? More than what they have. They are filthy rich! Confucius argues that common people suffer because of this unjust burdens and greed from the richest family of this capitalist country. Maybe I can throw a Confucian brick to those greedy SMDC people who will demolish the Philam Life Theater so they can come back to their senses. It is just so sad that government doesn’t care that much for our cultural heritage. Specifically, in one of the five cures of Confucianism is the study of the classics. These guys need to appreciate classic Filipino singers and performers that this auditorium witnessed through the years that it has been serving us. 


We may even ask if they really care about our cultural heritage. Filipino's cultural heritage. That is problem in being a capitalist country. As long as you have the money there is no limit on how you can spend it even if you will open malls or condos on every square inch of this country. Yeah sure we are appealing on some of our territorial disputes which is by the way still questionable but what we don't realize that even here in the bounds of what we can legally call OUR land has been terrorized by this monstrous businessman who doesn't give a damn as long as they will earn their precious money. They are making out country a big money pooping machine and we are not realizing it yet. Screw SM!

Depression Strikes Again

As much as possible, I'm avoiding memories from my childhood. I don't wanna remember what are my favorite cartoons, favorite songs, how does our old house looks like and everything that can remind me that once in my life I have a perfect family. Back when I was a kid, me and my playmates would argue who has the best mom and dad. We would boast what are parents are doing for a living, if there company sounds good to our ears and how much money they give us when we go to school. I lived in a village where people know each other and us kids play outside and they will not be worried even till the sun sets down. I used to think that forever we will be like this. I go to school every weekdays and during Sundays we go to church.
                                
Time has passed and bliss petered away. Why is it has to happen to me? Why me? Why not someone else? Though i have answered this question long ago for it's been 6 years since we got out of that house. I stayed with my mom which later on left me. Though i may be seen as valiant there are times that i wanna cry and beg my mom to live with us again. Because of my current predicament, i can't help but to be furious about my father. God knows that i want to forgive him but this dagger that he puts in our lives keeps on dragging us down in every aspect.

I miss my mom though she always nags at me. She always wants a clean kitchen, a dry bathroom and an organize room, i miss her. It dawned to me the other day that she is getting older and I'm here far from her. It feels like a waste of time every second that I don't spend with my mother. Is this another attack of depression on me? I don't know. But i just feel like writing about this. I tell you, if you are living with your parents right now be grateful. You are lucky to have them.

What Does These Months Has For Me

Hey there. It's been a long time since i wrote something here. I know i said before that i will try to write here everyday but my schedule doesn't permits me to. There are a lot of things that i want to talk about but it seems that I already told those stories to some people so those stories hasn't been in my mind for quite some time now. But let me talk about the first thing that is in my head right now. I'm pondering on making this blog a tagalog blog. Maybe because of my dislike on Jose Rizal. But i also realize that if i'm targeting Filipino Netizens then there shouldn't be a problem writing in this language. I also realized that i should not try to get the whole wide web as my audience. I should write in the context of my country because i learned that the more specific you are the more general it'll be.

Also another realization that i had these past months that my level of sadness is directly proportional to the number of novels that i can finish. I'm struggling with something for the past months and i finished 7 novels in 3 months time. Usually i just finish 3-4 novels a year. I'm that kind of person who thinks too much so to block the thoughts that bother me i read novels. I don't know about you but it is effective for me.

There has been a lot of great opportunities for me these past months and i can't say that i'm overwhelmed. For every title that you get there is a corresponding responsibility. It may sound good that you have those titles and when your friends heard about it they are all over you saying how awesome that is. But they will never understand how much work you need to put in to maintain those "titles" that they is awesome. But still thank you Lord for all of these.

Where do I fit in?

Where can you find the place where you will fit in best? Who can say to you that you shall take this path and not the otherwise? How can this crucial choice affect everyone around you? This is a very tough question that I will try to talk about somehow. I came across this question AGAIN in my class today and though I know for a fact what I want to be in my life what bothers me is that there are some people who are still not in the same predicament as I am. I’m not trying to boast here or something but what I’m trying to say is it also affects us in an indirect way when you make a decision that will place you in a field where you don’t best fit. It is an old issue about the nursing students that are taking the course because they were forced to by their parents or lured by the “opportunity” outside the country. As one of my professors used to say “Sayang yung mga utak na pinilit magnursing. Pwede sana sila maging magaling na abogado o mambabatas sa talino nila na yan” We can establish a premise here that there are endless possibilities of what ifs with these people and how they could have helped our country in a more effective way. 

If you happened to watch the movie 3 Idiots (a 2009 Bollywood film) one of Rancho’s friend was forced by his parents to take Engineering when in fact he is a TALENTED photographer. He could have use those times that he spend in engineering school to enhance his photography skills but instead he wasted it studying something that he is not passionate about. We are all trying to find our place where we will be a functional member of the society and aiming to be effective. We should seek what we do best and pursue it. What are we passionate about and strive for it. Sometimes we are just in the wrong track doing things that are meaningless and wasting our time doing something we don’t need to do. This is exactly the problem why here in the Philippines is far from an ideal society. Though we can never have an ideal society but it doesn’t mean we stop trying to become one. Here comedians can be politicians, nursing graduates are in the call centers, political science graduates can teach sociology and other fields that a lot of wrong people are in it. 

I’m aware that we are highly influenced by the social media culture in our time today where you can see what everyone is doing with just a click. It is also by this culture that we think in such a way that we seek what we can get and what we think we deserve. It is all about us and what we are entitled to have. It made us forget that every right has a responsibility with it. We are responsible to what our country is becoming. There is no one to blame but us to what is happening in the Philippines. So what are we trying to do to contribute to our country? Are we on the field that we think we can contribute effectively? Of course some would argue that it is the practicality that they are doing the things they are doing right now. But is it really the reason or we just don’t have the guts to make a stand? I’m sure that you don’t want to see the old gray haired you telling to yourself that you live a life of practicality not making a dent on history.

Sabi Nila Pag-Ibig

Una tayong nagkita nung 2005. Hindi ko maexplain ano nararamdaman ko noon pero alam kong may kakaiba sa sayo kaya tuwing makikita kita hindi maipaliwanag na ngiti ang laging makikita sa aking mukha. Masyadong kumplikado ang mga bagay bagay noon. Nasa isang relasyon ako at hindi ko masasabing hindi ako seryoso sa sayo pero talagang hindi ko pa din maialis ang kakaibang saya pag nakikita kita. Hindi tayo nagkaroon masyado ng oras para magusap noong mga taong yun sa kadahilanan na din na pinagbabawalan ko ng taong may karapatan sa akin noon. Parang sa isang kisap mata dumaan ang ilang taon at hindi na kita masyado naiisip pero isang araw nag text ka! Pambihira para kinuryente ang puso ko at muling nabuhay ang pagkagusto ko sayo. Hindi ko mabilang ang mga gabing hinihintay kita magtext na tila ba madalang pa sa patak ng ulan tayo nagkakausap. Dumaan pa ang maraming araw at nagkita tayo! Kahit sa oras na yun akala ko nanaginip lang ako. Nagkita nga tayo. Tumambay sa mga coffee shop at bookstores. Sa mga oras na to ako pinakamasaya. Akala ko dati hindi mo ako mapapansin kasi iba priorities mo. Sa mga araw na un iniisip ko totoo nga ata ang mga sinasabi nila sa mga taong nahuhulog ang loob na tumitigil daw ang mundo. Bagamat alam ko na hindi ko hinayaan na maging ganoon kalalim ang nararamdaman ko, wala akong nagawa. Sa sobrang saya at pagkalango ko sa nararamdaman ko hinayaan ko ang sarili kong mahulog ng tuluyan at walang tinira sa sarili ko.

Ibig kong ibigay ang mundo noon para sa iyo. Nakalimutan ko ang mga bagay na nais kong gawin at abutin nung mga panahong un at wala akong ibang inisip kundi paano tayo magiging masaya. Lumalim ng lumalim ang ating samahan. Lagi tayong magkasama at halos minu-minuto tayo magkausap. Ikaw ang naging mundo ko noon at alam kung nawawala na ako sa mga pinaniniwalaan kong tama at dapat kung gawin. Ako ung tipo ng tao na iniiwasan maattach sa mga tao dahil ayoko ng nasasaktan. Walang gustong masaktan. Pero ako ayoko kahit onti. Pero dahil sayo sinubukan kong isugal ang mga bagay.

Tulad ng ibang pelikulang tagalog hindi naglaon, nag iba ka bigla. Nawala ang dating lambing, hindi ka na ganoon tulad ng dati kung minahal. Hindi ko lubos maisip na mararamdaman ko to. Leche akala ko hindi to nangyayari sa tunay na buhay! Kulang ang lahat ng depinisyon ng panglulumo sa naramdaman ko nung unti unti ka ng nalalayo sa akin. Saan ako nagkamali? Saan ako nagkulang? Na kung kailan ko sinubukan at hinayaan ang sarili ko magmahal ng buong buo ay eto ang napala ko. Binigay ko lahat ng kaya kong ibigay at hinayaan ko ang sarili kong mahulog ng tuluyan at eto ang nangyari. Basag na basag ako ng mga panahong un. Daig ko pa ang nabugbog o naHazzing at ang masaklap pa dun walang gamot sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. Wala akong magawa para maibsan ang paghihirap ko. Dahil ang tanging lunas ko ay ikaw at wala ka na. Bumalik na parang agos ng dalampasigan sa isip ko ang mga ala ala ng ating pagsasama. Sabay natin pinanood ang paglubog ng araw. Lagi tayong nagkukulitan sa telepono at walang gusto magbaba. Masaya na tayo sa panonood ng mga pelikula sa laptop ko habang kumakain ng niluto mong pagkain. Pero heto ako ngayon na ni sa hinagap hindi inakala na eto'y mangyayari.

Sinubukan kong isalba ang pag ibig natin. Ginawa ko pa din ang lahat para maging tulad tayo ng dati. Pero sa tuwing sinusubukan ko lalo lang lumalalim ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. At dito ko napatunayan na hindi na pwede ibalik. Hindi na maibabalik. Yun ay mga ala ala na lang. Ngayon hindi ko alam kung minahal mo nga ako. Pero eto ang tandaan mo. Walang isang segundo noon na hindi ka tinibok ng puso ko. Minahal kita ng higit pa sa alam mo. Pero hanggang dito nalang talaga tayo.

Courage

Courage is not the absence of fear; Courage is not becoming a slave of fear.We often think or say that someone is courageous because they have the guts, they are strong and has no fear. Are you like that? Or do you wish to be like that? I remember when i was a child i have no fear. I do things that i want to do without having second thoughts on it. When i was asked to participate on a certain competition i don't say NO. Never did I when i was in elementary. Then i went to highschool, i must say that my ego just became higher and nowhere to be found in the ground. Also because i know in myself no one can oppose me for what i believe, what i know, and what i can do. There are no one who can beat me down and my morale is that invincible.

When i move up to college and i transferred house. I was still a air-headed person. But maybe because of the circumstances that made me doubt myself? During my early years of my college life i was emotionally down and fragile. I was not prepared from the succeeding events and i have this fear of failure and destruction. I was way beyond my comfort zone and many things happened that made me weak and fearful. It was a long and tiring journey that time. I think i have signs of depression that time and no one is capable of helping me.

God knows how long it is but i recovered. I faced my demons and overcame my fear. I learn to be independent and took full responsibility of my future. There goes my fear of becoming nothing, fear that i may not be able to sustain myself for everyday living and the list goes on. But here i am now, studying my course where my passion is and trying to rebuild myself again. Whatever you might be afraid of right now, whatever is hindering you from being the best and happy, whatever it is always keep in mind to take courage and go for it! For you shall not be a slave of fear!

Democracy Is In Our Hands

Before i sleep i want to write a couple more things here. It is so random that i want to tackle about democracy at this time. As Plato once said "The problem with democracy is that decisions are made by people without knowledge". Together with this I once read in my Facebook news feed that the Philippines' politician and government leaders these days are nothing but the tip of the iceberg. These leaders got elected because this is how the Filipinos think and rationalize. Though there are some exceptions because there is also a percentage of citizens that are educated and has a sensible opinions about political issues and economic need of the Philippines. You may also say right now to me that there is a widespread anomaly in every election and results are not that credible. But let's be realistic that no matter how big the influence of a certain politician or government personality, despite of their efforts you cannot outnumber the votes of majority of the people. Maybe it can help them a notch to gain a comfortable position but still this is subject to debate.

We always want democracy, freedom as others may say, we want to be autonomous and sovereign but are we really up for it? I'm fully aware that there is no perfect government but should not dismiss the notion of improvement. We should not settle for mediocrity and be passive about these things. As democracy in its sense has a big reliance on its people and we should not neglect that. Our goal is that we should aim to educate our people and eradicate ignorance. Before poverty, debts and territory disputes we should first educate our people and awareness to this things will follow much more a better understanding of these issues.

Today, September 21, 2012 we are remembering the Martial Law that once tasted by our country and because of this people became suddenly awakened from their slumber and revolted; I honestly believe this is because they cannot afford to ignore this anymore for they are directly affected by this that time. People across the globe recognized us because of the succeeding events following the Proclamation 1081. But this doesn't last that long and the all of a sudden the patriotism died. This should not be a temporal; the passion to learn and be held responsible for our own democracy should be reminded to every Filipino every day. The efforts of some private sectors and companies in igniting the Filipino Spirit in anyway they can shall not be put in vain. If we all want to be truly free and sovereign, we should take the responsibility in our shoulders and every single Filipino should also do the same.

Believer

As I've promised, I will try my best to update my blog everyday. :) So after writing that post yesterday I was trying to think my past thoughts that I would like to write here in my blogsite. Some of them are still here in my phone so I will attempt to unearth them together with the thoughts that comes with it. Because I only save titles of my ideas and not the whole story. So I shall refresh my brain now. Hahahaha!

Okay to start i found this in my drafts "And the trouble is if you don't risk anything, you are risking even more". I think i heard this from a sunday message. Which appeals to me because I'm that kind of person who is a risk taker. This kind of attitude develops in me since i became independent at a very young age. So I've learned to take a risk since i feel that there is nothing to lose in trying. Even though in reality you are gambling a part of you at some instances. The thing is a lot of people are afraid to get out of their comfort zones and made themselves comfortable to what they have or what they are at the present time. But that will not work for me. I know and honestly believe that there a lot of things to chase in this life and a lot of wonderful events that are just waiting for us to unveil. I'm always a believer of good things, of good life and optimism runs through my veins.

From all of the things that happened to me and the things that I've overcome in life, I can say that there is more to life than miseries and sorrows. Never ever think that you had enough of everything because there is a lot in store for all of us. So take the risk and seize the day! :)

Here I Go Again

These past years I've been blogging sporadically because i just want to say things that i can't say to people who knows me personally. Whether you believe me or not i want to religiously post everyday here but everytime that I have something to write i end up typing it on my phone instead or tweeting about it. You cannot blame me because social media and other technology made me lazy about everything. But i want to change. I want to be a new person today! It's been a long time since I've been conscious of how i look or what i wear and all. I'm that kind of person that is more concerned about things that i read, that i learn and when i say reading it means reading a LOT!

I think wanting to be a new person is an exaggeration and what i mean is to be a better person. To be better in some aspects of my life. I'm thinking of making another blog and is dedicated for my weight loss journey. I will try to make a video of my every day progress and write things about it that makes sense. Hahaha! It took me a long time to realize that i should be also conscious of how i look and my health. I will start to make this blog the moment i purchase a mountain bike.

Being a better version of yourself is a constant stretch. Wanting to be better than you already are is one thing that i love about myself. Hahahaha! Improving all the aspects of your life is a fulfilling task to do. Though being busy with other stuffs made me ignore about my physical appearance can be an excuse but I'm not regretting it. I've learned a lot along the way making me the person I am today. It is never too late to look for improvements and you should also look ways on how to do this for yourself. :)

XYZ

Is it humanly possible for someone in my age to be not that eager to be romantically involved with someone? Or am i just denying myself of this feeling because I've been hurt before? That could be a reason but maybe not? I noticed that after my previous relationship (which didn't end up so well) suddenly i was not that eager to be in a relationship again.. unlike before, i was always the one who end it and instantly replace them with a new one.. but with this i think i was really committed than i was before. i invested a lot of emotions and time and then we end up like that.. though i was also the one who ended it.. it felt bad.. it felt terrible.. it is such a waste.. i can't even treasure those memories they weren't real.. (let me that person XYZ) aleast for XYZ.. because for me i was being true the entire relationship.. but i know XYZ is trying but really not into it.. i read it from XYZ's notebook (unfortunately i have it). it hurts.. it really hurts.. because all those times i believe that what we have is real.. i can see it.. but if it's love then it must not end.. but it did.. on the latter part of our relationship we always fight.. always! XYZ was being so unreasonable and irritated.. i didn't give up on XYZ not until i had enough.. not until i know that it will go nowhere.. those fights and words that XYZ had said i know that it isn't love..so what's the point of staying together? you know what hurts the most? it is those memories of sunsets, laughters, nights that we were together, those surprises, gifts and many other more.. those ain't real.. it's sad.. what a tragedy..

now i'm waiting for that person who can make me feel again.. give that spark.. and hopefully someone that i can really trust my heart with..

Fight against Violence (KONY 2012)

There was this video that has been circulating for a while now but I didn’t pay attention till today. KONY 2012 is a video by Jason Russel that aims to raise support and awareness for the arrest of Joseph Kony. I was so moved by this video clip that I decided to make an action and support this campaign. I know that one of the actions that I can make is to blog about it. 1.4M likes on Facebook and thousand of readers every day, writing about this in Definitely Filipino will surely reached a number of readers who will hopefully advocate for the “Invisible Children”. Who is Joseph Kony? He is the leader of a cult group named Lord’s Resistance Army (originally called United Holy Salvation Army) in Uganda formed in 1987, claims that he is the spokesperson of God and wants Uganda to be in Theocracy. 

Over the years Kony has been abducting children (according to Jason Russel there are 30,000 up to date) to join his army; kidnapping them to be his soldiers, sometimes forcing them to kill their own parents and also using this children as their sex slaves. They make the children serves as a decoy sending them in frontlines, sometimes used as pack mules carrying LRA supplies until they cannot walk anymore they will either kill them or left to die. Kony also tortures them by cutting off the children’s nose, ear, lips and make them eat their own flesh. Children in Uganda and other parts of Africa are living in fear for their lives, sleeping every night thinking if they will be abducted or not and that is a sad truth.

This KONY 2012 campaign aims that by December 31, 2012 Joseph Kony will be arrested and we will win this fight against war. I’m aware that there are also a lot of people doubting the credibility of this campaign or the sincerity of the organization running this campaign but isn’t it good to know that there are still people fighting for the rights of other. It is better to support the fight for violence than to sit back and do nothing. It doesn’t change the fact that still Joseph Kony is the #1 most wanted and he make thousands of families in Africa miserable. US government is already supporting this campaign. Several US advisers were involved as well as military troops. We as Filipinos will also make a stand against violence. We can make an AWARENESS. We as human who don’t want our loved ones to be hurt or to be in danger will share the burdens of those people victimized by Kony. We will make history. Russel said in the same video that strikes me the most “Who are you to end the war? I’m here to tell you who are you not to?”.

HOW TO HELP:
Visit: http://kony2012.com
Donate to Invisible Children: https://stayclassy.org/checkout/set-donation?eid=14711
For info on Invisible Children: http://invisiblechildren.com

(Sources: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony , http://www.nndb.com/people/398/000022332/ )

setting goals..

I don't feel that i'm missing my high school batch mates. Is that offensive? Maybe i was too preoccupied with other things, uh no, i mean a lot of things! 

Every now and then there is always one or two of my batch mates that are getting married, pregnant and some of them still studying. Others have work but you can say that it is only for a specific span of time and they will be transferring company again, very few are those who are really stable at this point. It seems that no one is seriously planning for their futures and just going with the flow.

It occurred to me "Do i have a difference from all of them" . When i was a kid i used to imagine myself above from any other kids of my age. Well, i strongly believe that my confidence before was as high as the stars above for my perception about things and realizations of my limitations are not yet determined.

On the other side, i was starting to feel again that confidence that was once lost. It is all in the mind. What i think i cannot do was all in my mind. Opportunities are everywhere and it is just a matter of confidence and determination.

What i'm trying to do now is to enhance my talent and capabilities and use it to it's fullest and have no regrets in the future that i didn't give this and that a shot. As one wiseman said that you shouldn't be afraid of failing rather than being sorry for not trying.

My plans for my future are of course just mere plans but the will of God shall prevail. I will do my part to maximize every chance i have. Live every single day as if it is the last day. 

Transcendence..

It's always all about yourself. You perceive almost everything with your own presuppositions. "I don't like this" , "I don't feel doing this" and other more. We always want situations to favor our side, our feelings and our pride. Even myself is guilty of this. Why not? It is much more easier that way; much more convenient. But what are the odds? It seems normal if you want more likes on your Facebook status or more retweets. But this narcissism tendency closes your mind to other opinions, comments or culture and even much more about this blog that i'm writing.

One thing I've noticed is when you are in the age that you think you can handle yourself then you are also confident or shall i say more than confident that whatever you decide, conclude or think is absolute. The age where you are fleeting from your adolescence to adulthood and building your own identity and reputation. Everything is more complicated now but as you are starting to create yourself you become more sensitive, more opinionated and egoistic not like when you were a child.

Now, other people who have been to where you are right now starts giving you advice, criticize you and try to tell you what your limits are but this is not just a piece of cake. Because you start to think that you is better than them, that you can have a better way of doing things and nothing is difficult for you to achieve. I understand that side but here's what i'm trying to say here; people are from different walks of life, different orientation and different cultures so you cannot always say that you are right and they are wrong also vice versa. There is always a chance that sometimes they just not tell you the whole picture but bottomline they just wanna make you understand, they wanna help you. One thing I've learned is that even there is always this possibility that we can make a better generation let us not ignore the wisdom that we can get listening to other people especially older people. Sometimes they're wrong but often times they're not. You can always create a better you and there is no harm using some help doing it.

finding my old brain..

while i'm reading my old posts here in my blog makes me feel awkward. hahaha. i was not posting these stuff that people will know that this is me writing this. just raw and random thoughts crossing my mind. i don't care if some grammar Nazis come here and criticize my punctuations,subject-verb whatsoever and other glitches. seriously, back off! well, one reason i'm reviving this blog is that i have this feeling that i'm losing myself. what i mean is that i think i'm corrupted by crappy music, pathetic social medias and mediocrity. i may be harsh with my words but that is reality. how many hours did i spend on Twitter, FB, Youtube and 9gag? whenever i have this great idea or a inspiring write up to make i always end up not doing it because i was exhausted doing a bunch of garbage online. i should courageously stop tweeting and socializing. it is time stimulate my brain and make things happen. 


also this post says a lot about my blogging skills. i'm losing it. not too late. gonna revive it. let this be a reminder to all of us fellow young people to be aware of what you are losing when you spend too much time on unimportant things. when you feed your mind with garbage. i must say that i'm also inspired by Charlie Chaplin for being not that sociable yet used his talent and principles to have his message heard in the most effective way. Keeping a low-profile and was not infiltrated by Hollywood. always find time to take a break from all of the demands of this world and start redeeming yourself. for only a few understand the importance of this and emerge as one of the rare and bright minds of this planet.

Where's the optimism? SONA 2011

Why is it that people are not tired of ranting and complaining whenever they can? Aren't you tired of yourself blaming a single person for all of these? Noynoy with all due fairness is just a year old as a president. Then you expect that he will solve all those on your wishlist? C'mon get real! I'm not ignorant of all the extrajudicial killing. poverty,all price hike, low salary, jobless people, budget cuts and the list goes on but don't the president deserve at least a benefit of the doubt? From what i see here, Noynoy actually managed to open some issues, anomalies and corruption in different agencies. He really stick to his "Tuwid na daan" campaign he has which is for me a impressive first year. I believe that this tactic of fighting corruption is a good move to dig a foundation for his further plans of making our country a better land. From getrealphilippines.com this was quoted "How does one go from fighting the wang wang to highlighting “results” to do with reducing hunger?" because according to that article Noynoy quoted his wang-wang speech then followed by a statistics about self-rated hunger. Don't you understand that when this abuse of authority (wang-wang) is eliminated then all good outcome follows? I'm not even a Aquino loyalist but i think Noynoy here is somehow judged inappropriately. I agree that his SONA has left us clueless about all of his plans for our country but on the other side a president that is actively fighting for corruption and authority abuse is a president that i can trust. Let's not put it all on Noynoy's shoulders. Fellow Filipinos we also have some work to do!

nothing to look forward..

isn't it true that if you are not looking forward to anything and nothing excites you it just create a damn lazy sluggard monster in you? well, im experiencing some of this lately and it is damaging.. i missed work, it costs me a lot of money.. i find food a therapeutic way to temporarily lessen my loneliness away.. i don't like being an adult, i don't like this responsibilities, i should have a life you know? i don't like taking care of my own bills. but on the other side i surely don't want to live with my dad again. cruel as it seems but i cannot write or describe the exact feeling when we we're with him and it is so excruciating that i don't want to remember it anymore. i always look at myself as a strong, aggressive and will-driven person as if im invincible in my own perception. but today im seeing myself falling into tiny bits, impossible to restore, painful to rebuild. my confidence is degenerating, i often feel empty and got nothing to do but to stare at these laptop. *sigh* it is just so boring..

faith, religion, Bible.. DEBATE part 1..

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  this video was posted by PERSON 2 in his Facebook account.. and PERSON 1 challenged him.. btw, this is an friendly debate.. :)
  
  
  
  
  PERSON 1:  i want a debate here..:) this was not a secret.. this is something that TRUE Christians are trying to say over and over again.. that there is no other way in salvation other than faith in Christ.. i repeat in Christ alone..
  

  9 hours ago ·  · 
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   PERSON 2: the secret that was revealed was about the one who will preach another gospel. a stupid shmuck that would say all religions pray to one god, and every religion is acceptable to God.
  

  9 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  that was not a secret.. it is written in the book of Revelation.. it is only a secret to those who doesn't read the Book of Life..
  

  9 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2:
  

  please do not confuse the bible with th book of life.. the bible is our how-to-live manual with good and bad examples and the book of life is like a log-book of people who are not going to be thrown to hell--so it is not possible for us to read it because it is with God. the secret is who is that anti-christ.
  
  Btw, I'd like to share this with you... do you know that religion is one of the leading causes of bloodshed in the world?

  9 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  Life in it's true meaning is the Bible.. Christ said " I am the Way the Truth and the Life" and He also said that "I and the Word are one" so there..
  religion..hmm.. interesting.. so what is it? what RELIGION?
  

  9 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2:
  

  what? christ isn't the bible... do you know that the number of books that are present nowadays are finalized long after the apostles died? ever heard of the book of eli, the revelation of peter and the acts of paul? they were excluded in t...he bible.. of course, it is the word of god, but i think it is no longer complete, because it is no longer in it's original aramaic or hebrew language(which has more words than the english language), some books like the dead sea scrolls have torn areas, and some important books may not have been found.
  
  life... believe me, there are more people killed in the bible than those who where raised to life. not an atheist but, just looking at the bible at a technical perspective. with all of these obstacles, I believe God raises a person who would have the lost knowledge to teach us whenever it is his will to do so.
  
  religion? I think every major religion including christianity has blood in it's hands... ever heard of the crusade? the jihad

  9 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1: i understand people like you.. skeptical.. you won't believe if you don't have it.. well, that's faith.. :) about God being the word.. try to read the book of John.. you can't put God in the box of our mind.. you can't perceive Him the way a human mind can think.. that's why faith is the one that can save NOT RELIGION.. how can you perceive the mind of the ONE who made us? just think of the logic there.. Christians are persecuted here on earth a perfect example that were not of this world.. and it is stated in the bible too.. dude, faith is all that matters in afterlife.. not LEGALITY..

  8 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2:
  

  the problem with persecution is that, after the the romans stopped persecuting the christians, the christians persecuted other people..
  
  Btw, i'm not a skeptic, and I do believe in God. but how I believe it is not like other people. I don't just roll over when I'm told to.
  
  What I'm trying to do is differentiate the bible to the book of life. because you seem confused with the two.
  
  The like I said bible can be edited, translated, and can be interpreted in countless ways. but the book of life cannot because it is in God's possession.
  
  look, faith without knowlege is meaningless... ..how about those who have faith in satan? o how about those who staunchly believe that killing a bunch of christians will get you into heaven? that is the very reason why people kill for religion.. christians and muslims killed each other before because they have faith that God is pleased if they do so. not knowing that it is for imperialistic reasons..
  
  Like moses, elijah, jesus and the other prophets god raises People with knowledge to teach and tell us his will. because people have trouble in reading and interpreting his words..It's either they find it too inconvienient or they're mystics..
  
  and btw, If you really believe in the bible you should understand that faith doesn't matter in the after life.. why? do you need faith believe in God when you see him in front of you? 

  7 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:
  

  again my premise was Life in it's essence is the Bible.. can you give me an example of Life that was not of the Word? it's true faith withour knowledge is meaningless but faith BASED on knowledge and on what you can only understand is not faith.. it is insecurity.. and on my statement that faith is all that matters in the afterlife.. what i mean was you will be judged by your faith not by what you perceived or think that is right.. faith in a stone is faith in vain.. that's why i pointed on my first statement that Christ is the way to salvation "no one comes to the Father except through Him" so those people who believe in their other gods is faith in vain.. i.e. you can have faith that there is no gravity..well, will that change the truth? still gravity do exist whether you believe in it or not.. so how about those who have faith that there is no gravity? they are believing in vain.. so there is the logic.. :)

  6 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2:
  

  on what grounds can you say faith based on knowledge is insecurity? I had given some proofs that faith without knowledge is meaningless.. I will give you a good reason why it is not just insecurity... How the hell are you going to have faith to a God if you don't know him(knowledge). people were first given knowledge before the had faith.
  
  And how can you be judge according to you faith? those who joined the crusades had strong faith.. the proof is they traveled to a distant land to kill the muslims.. and the muslims did the same.. so faith is not the means on how you will be judged.
  
  It is by actions.. as it is written in the letter of john.. "faith w/o action is dead".
  
  salvation comes like this.. You are indoctrinated(knowledge), you believe it(faith), and how you live your life(actions)..
  
  again my argument is about faith alone... because faith without knowldge has cathastropic effects.. for with faith w/o knowledge, people can be manipulated by malignant fiars into abominable acts like so-called "holy wars"... there is nothing holy about a war fought for imperialism and pride.

  6 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 2:  about the word.. my example is neiserria gonorrhea.. I don't think that is of the word..hehe
  

  6 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:
  

  here let me correct my previous statement.. faith SOLELY BASED in knowledge is insecurity.. how can you say that you faith is what you posses when you're being legalistic.. and that's in the book of James "faith without deeds is dead" by you dont read the whole text for it is also said that "for it is by FAITH you have been saved through grace and NOT BY YOUR WORKS so that no one can boast".. again.. i said faith in Christ not faith in someone else.. you're missing the point.. have you read the parable of the talents? well, thats an example of faith solely based in knowledge is insecurity..

  6 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2: so james and john have a disagreement.. which makes my earlier claim that there is a problem with the bible. it seems that you miss to answer my question about how are you going to have faith if you have no idea that a God exist? it is a simple question.. knowledge is comes first before faith. by understanding christ's teachings w/c is a form of KNOWLEDGE you are able to have faith in him and then worship God.
  
  I don't really know what legalistic mean.. but it is not bad to worship God and use your brain at the same time.. the parable of talents tells us that God comissions us to act for his cause (e.g. spread the word) and not to sit around and just have faith.
  
  To have faith doesn't mean to just believe in anything you are told.. there is a thing called blind faith.. and mine is not like that. My faith can be expressed as.. I believe in God though i don't see him... but i feel the holy spirit(idk if you'll even believe) and no matter what others tell me I'll stick to his fundamental which is the truth.

  6 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:
  

  dude, you're so confused.. what im saying is that you must read the Bible in context not in random verses.. you yourself said that it is frequently misunderstood.. im not arguing about having knowledge in faith.. that is essential.. im stating here that faith SOLELY based..dude the word is SOLELY! is insecurity.. the point that im stating in the parable of the talents is that the 3rd servant in his knowledge doesn't seem enough for him to grow... but the 1st and 2nd servant take the risk even though they don't have an assurance that they will succeed.. believeing in something that they are not sure of.. keyword: SOLELY.. you must get that one..

  6 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 1:
  

  the problems that I'm talking about the bible are:
  1. Some books were that were found are really damaged and some of the writings are erased.(e.g. dead sea scrolls)
  2.The translation to english from aramaic/hebrew(which have a lot more words than the english language)
  3. the reliability of the scholars(ever wonder why there is a large gap between cain killing able and cain having his own family)
  4. the time the books were brought together.. (it was about a century after the apostles died.
  5. events like the council of nycea; where there is a direct intervention of the emperor, constantine on the issue of the state of being of jesus

  6 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 2:
  

  taking a risk is an action.. believe me..ahaha.. why did they act? because they knew(w/c is knowledge again) that their master will kick their ass if they do not act..
  again you miss the point.. how is having faith solely in knowledge? maybe you're talking about the atheist.. who have faith in his own knowledge..
  
  for it to be clearer.. how is faith solely in knowledge?

  6 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  in this case naman.. bible was written and the people who wrote that are Holy Spirit inspired.. and if you really follow the bible you'll see that the history and what's written on it are not in conflicts.. the prophecies in the old testament were all fulfilled iin the new testament.. and if you read the Bible.. everything that is happening today.. the famine, disasters, Verichip, and other more we're alll written in it.. i strongly recommend that you must FIRST read the entire Bible befoore questioning it.. :)
  

  6 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 1:  good works is the fruit of your faith not that good works will earn you faith.. SOLELY=PURELY.. there is a big difference between believing and faith.. i tell you.. no one is save by believing and solely knowledge.. you'll be saved by your faith..
  

  6 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2: I have read it believe me... I'm not talking about those who written it.. i'm talking about those who compiled it. and those who deided what to inlclude in the bible,, it happen in a time where power is starting to corrupt the church.. and the people who were full of faith and were not using their brains fell.. are you not puzzled why there are so many sects?
  
  I never said that it is fake.. I only said that There is a problem with it.. it is a matter of looking at history and it doesn't require alot of knowldge and faith to see it.
  
  ok about faith... it still doesn't answer the question on how possible is it for faith to be judge because a lot of pople killed each other because of it.. faith can be right or wrong so why woul god base his judgement on something that is really unconsistent?
  
  If faith is different from believe then, why are the followers of christ called believers and no faithers..hahaha. 

  5 hours ago · 
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   it is just the same... unless you are talking about blind faith.. a faith SOLELY based on mystism and fanatism. btw, I recommend that You read the history of the bible... for I had long ago finished reading it so I started reading how it was compiled..
  

  5 hours ago · 
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  PERSON 1: haha.. that's a good one.. as i've told you.. :) you must first read the entire Bible.. and i can bet that you haven't read the whole of it.. im sure of that.. because all this premises that ive been telling you are from it..faith in Christ is not inconsistent.. for He doesn't said that you must believe to all of the theories.. Bible and Christ are the one you must truly have faith with.. not the theories that people are trying to make... for RELATIONSHIP in God is important not the religion..
  
  as for believing and faith... even the demons believe in God.. they have knowledge about His greatness.. but they are all bound to hell.. then what is your difference if you just believe and don't have faith?

  5 hours ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2: it is not because what i'm saying is different than your's I was not able to read the whole bible.. i even read the foot notes..
  
  the difference is that we are not (yet) condemned by God. And the difference is that they fought(which is an action) against God. it is not the question of faith, it is the question of actions. it is stated also in letter of john that demons also have faith. another example of betrayal is judas.. he had faith...
  
  and btw, I never stated any theories.. all I said were historical facts,
  that shows the implication of faith alone. over the time I was talking about the bloodshed that was because of mislead faith, and you fail to answer them in anyway.
  
  i'll give you a strong proof that faith is really primarily based on knowledge.
  you will not be able to have faith if you are not indoctrinated/preached(w/c is knowledge) and you are taught with the gospel(w/c is knowledge).
  abraham wouldn't have that much faith in God if he didn't know God exist.
  
  what the bible is against is faith based on earthly knowledge.
  
  a more reliable proof that faith alone is useless.. Remember the Rich young man that approached jesus? he had faith but he failed because he was not able to do what jesus asked him to do.. which is an action.
  faith is proved through actions..
  
  here's an indistputable proof that religion is important.. acts 20:28 try it.. it talks about a church that was bought by christ's blood. if religion is not important, why would christ die for that church? and god wouldn't send christ, choose moses, or wouldn't require people to build churches if religion was not necessary.
  
  I really read the bible, not like those who read it as a fiction book, i read it and studied it. one example is that there is no english translation for the word selah that was repeated a lot of times in psalms. and the term "fool" has a different meaning in the bible. fool means someone who is stupid. but in the bible it means, a person who is morally deficient. perhaps you just read it and you did not really understand it..haha
  
  christ and God are not inconsistent, but people are. especially those scholars and authorities who compiled the bible, why? they had to remove and add books in the bible.

  about an hour ago · 
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  PERSON 1: if you're really reading my replies...ive been answering you repititively... the thing is you're only refusing to accept my premises.. i didn't said that you've stated theories.. ive said that people make theories and called it religion.. that's why there are so many sectors.. the one that you've stated as a strong proof is a lame one.. 1st gospel is not a knowledge it's an action.. have you heard of pre destination.. many would here the gospel but won't accept it.. maybe you've read the history of the bible and believed in it skeptically.. and doesn't read the bible itself.. people in the old testament is different from the people of the new testament for Christ haven't come yet in those times.. the way of communicating in God is different.. i thought you've read the Whole of it? and what made you say that Judas is a demon? one more thing.. how sure are you that demons have faith? :)

  about an hour ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2: I'd just add a correction... the verses that I used were from james and not from john. btw, it is stated in james 2;20-26 that abraham is justified through his actions... and you are a fool if you think you are justified though faith alone.
  
  if you accept this verse then your argument will collapse and if you don't my first claim about the problem with the bible is affirmated:)

  25 minutes ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  justified not based.. i thought you understand.. as ive told you it is a proof of faith.. as found in galatians.. were talking about salvation.. it is by faith..have you read Ephesian 2:8-9 read between the lines my friend.. you're too literal.. :) proof needs justification.. you're not bulding anything here in your argument.. shooting blindly.. understand before having your next reply..
  

  12 minutes ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2: first my claim about faith is not lame.. because you neglected to discredit my claim that it is not possible for you to have faith if you are not preached/taught.. and about gospel.. okay you are right that it is not just knowledge but also...See More

  9 minutes ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  what comment was removed?
  

  8 minutes ago ·  · 
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  PERSON 2:  justified and so will be saved... that's the point.. and how are you going to prove your faith without actions?
  

  5 minutes ago · 
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  PERSON 1:  satan was once an angel but LOST his faith..read Isaiah.. he wants to be greater than God.. the don't have faith after all.. this happened before the new testament.. as ive told you.. it is different way back then.. im not against that you need knowledge.. ive told you that faith based in SOLELY knowledge is not faith.. church pertains to the body of Christ not religion..
  

  4 minutes ago ·  · 
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   ive already explained that one.. hmp! faith,actions and knowledge.. read it..